Regret and a Question

I am so sorry now that
I worried so much when
I could have danced. Don’t
laugh. REALLY I could have
just danced from the start.

And I worked so hard to buy
gifts and seeming necessities
When you (and you and you)
were so hungry in the eyes
for mere presence, as was I.

I could have kept my hands
In the dirt where they so
love to be making things
grow, wonderful warm
things from mere seeds.

But I had to work long
and hard. Days and weeks,
then months upon years
Kneeling down hard homage
to those little plastic gods.

I could have made love
with my time here. I could
have eaten less and better,
Or slept into longer dreams,
then acted out of them

How stupid! I could have sung!
I used to sing and badly play
my good guitar. I’m so sorry,
estranged self, that I sold you
for such a pittance, but look

We still have some time left.

© Anne Benvenuti 2011

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